BMW denied

Ph.D. students who look at the academic job market with growing despair can take comfort in the fact that most of those determined little sellouts who went to law school, while you dumbly pursued your passions, won't actually make any money. According to the Associated Press, the big firms offer a few sweet gigs, but most law students will end up with sucky jobs, barely making enough to pay Sallie Mae. In accordance with new AP policy, here are the first four words from the article:

To hear many students

You see kids, academia may not pay, but at least you don't have to take on fuckloads of debt just to pay the tuition.